Precious Moments and other things I learned at work

I learned so much at work today that I felt like I was back in junior high school. Or maybe that was because I popped a boner and had to cover it up with a notebook.
And if you've seen the type of notebooks we use, you know that it's not a big deal.

Ick. OK. Back up. That was a lie.

But about the learnin’ part -- the morsels of information imparted will stick with me the rest of my life. Or at least until my next binge drinking episode.

I learned that Pat Sajack has his own blog, too, which pretty much makes me wonder why I do one. Adding to that feeling is the younger staff at the Daily Herald of Arlington Heights -- whom I like to call the story fairies -- blog on the paper’s Web site. It’s real keepin’ it real stuff, like pieces about Paula Abdul and shoes.

Blogging for your bosses sort of defeats the purpose of blogging, doesn’t it?

I learned that the average American newspaper reader spends only 22 minutes with the paper. Who knew it took that many that long to shit?

I learned that one newspaper somewhere in America devoted the entire front page, the news page, to the opening of the last Harry Potter movie.
Maybe there is something to those claims about the books and movie being the devil’s work after all.

I learned that the Seattle Post Intelligencer has a feature called Big Moments, which are features about significant events in the lives of everyday people. How Bruce Springsteen of them.

I’m thinking of ripping this off but with a product tie-in twist: Call it Precious Moments and have a cartoon drawn of the happening in question, maybe even a little porcelain statue made.

Possible topics: Billy loses his virginity. Akbar’s suicide car bomb. Cindy tries smack for the first time. Grandpa’s first abortion clinic protest. Tommy gets more than a paddling from his frat brothers.

It’s edgy, yet appealing to collectors.