A Whole Lotta People Got Krushed By Dis

The documentary about the Enron assholes, The Smartest Guys in the Room, finally hit the movie screens last weekend, albeit just a few.

I haven't seen it yet, but have read reviews and seen interviews with the filmmakers. And after catching the hype I thought, hell, Kenny Boy Lay and Jeff Skilling should form a rap act. They sort of already have.

Rap gets the bad rap for polluting the minds of our callow youth with all dat sexist imagery, the obsession with cash and bling, the thug life glorification of violence. So much of it is such a shit bag of clichés - such triteness hasn't been seen since the glory days of hair metal in the 1980s.

While parents and Bill Cosby bitch and moan about this, it still makes a ton of money. That's what it's all about, anyway - say whatever the fuck you want, as long as someone will buy it. And crap like 50 Cent sells by the crunk-load.

At the same time, the dubious Donald Trump has become a lovable TV star - and rappers hang out with the bozo billionaire, so there is precedence for my idea. I think it's called synergy by the business types, when you merge to create even more pungent crap.

How perfect then to merge a hip hop scene heavy on bad boy imagery with actual business bad boys. Sure, shooting up your rival is more sexy for TV. But that ain't nothing compared to the shit Enron pulled, robbing grandmothers of their retirement money, shafting a whole state by artificially jacking up energy prices and generally being badasses, living large and in charge of some mega-global nastiness.

Kenny Boyyy's Bottom Line could be the name of the record company and Lay's rapper name could be N. Ronn. Durty TriXXX could be Skilling's rap name as he apparently masterminded most of the schemes. Andy Fastow could become DJ 401K (AKA The Proffit Takerr).

The crew could hook up in prison, where if we're lucky they'll all become some big guys' bitches. Behind bars they can build street cred. Tavis Smiley came up with the perfect album title: A Whole Lotta People Got Krushed by This.

Sure, the CEO Posse is middle-aged, and rap is a young man's game. But rap has been around for almost 30 years, so older fans need an act, too. A lil sumfin for the dawgs in the board room, ya dig.

It's all good.