Deacon Blue: I'm in a lite rock funk

Feeling old and tired lately (hey, it's winter), I've was listening to way too much Steely Dan.

What a weird band that was. Even back in the 70s their songs were often about getting old, dating women way too young and taking on the persona of a suburban creep. Now they actually are what they were singing about.

And their music really was rock and really wasn't jazz and sounded middle of the road but was more subversive than those type of bands.

Well, one thing led to another, and I got myself into a real MOR funk. I actually bought discounted CDs by the likes of Seals and Crofts, Michael McDonald, and Lionel Richie. I’d throw the Go-Gos in there, too, but for the fact I had a crush on Belinda Carlisle until she got fat, then lost weight, then married a Republican and started singing songs far worse than Lionel Richie.

Suddenly I felt like a 55 year old housewife from some lily-white suburb, with my W sticker on the minivan and a megachurch multimedia service to attend.

Seals and Crofts! OK, I like Hummingbird and Summerbreeze. Dumb-ass hippie lyrics but good bad 70s stuff.

Michael McDonald: Weird voice, a white guy trying to sound black. Minute by Minute is his best song, What a Fool Believes is docked a notch because Kenny Loggins wrote it and he is evil.

Lionel Richie wrote great music for 8th graders to make out with each other to. All Night Long isn’t half bad for the whitest black guy ever to record for Motown.

Sometimes you just need to listen to stupid music partially for the laughs and partially because stupid times call for stupid measures.