Hummer Man on the highway

Hey, get the fuck out of my way. If you don’t like it that I am driving 90 mph while I am talking on the cell phone, smoking, drinking coffee, listening to Ted Nugent, watching football highlights and weaving in and out of traffic, well pay attention dammit and don’t blame me if I hit you.

Because it would be your own goddam fault if you didn’t see me. I mean, who the fuck can’t see a bright yellow Hummer coming at them? I love the name of my car, don’t you? It reminds me of that bitch Monica Lewinski who did a service for America by servicing that liberal faggot Bill Clinton, showing what a dipstick he and his lesbo wife are.

I mean Rush is right and that’s not just the oxycontin talking. Damn liberals are out to make America some fairyland where a man can’t even get a piece of red meat. The fuckers would let Osama take over if they had their way, and they wouldn’t care if he closed the strip clubs because they are all a bunch of goddam homos anyway.

And don’t let them fool you. If we weren’t over in Iran or Iraq or whichever Ira country it is fighting them there and blowing up shit, the terrorists would be blowing up shit here. I mean what can’t the panty waist liberals get about that? If it takes destroying a pissant little country like that to save our skins, that’s the price we have to pay. Besides, by brother-in-law has a great job with Haliburton, You should see the bonus check he’s getting this year.

So bring it on motherfucking Ring of Death or whatever that nickname is W made up for you bastards.

And God bless W. Stupid commie Democrats don’t even realize all the good shit he’s done for this country. Hell, look at all he’s doing for the folks in New Orleans. He’d gonna rebuild that shit hole so respectable people will want to live there, make it all nice and better for the tourists, and use that rubble to build it higher so that they can have townhomes and condos.

Goddam fucking toll booth, damn state and its taxes, taxes, taxes. Oh sure, I got a tax break when I bought this H2, thanks to W, not the Tax-ocrats. But Illinois is annoying me.

Ah fuck it. I’ll just drive on the shoulder. I’m late for megachurch.