Army of One? (But it takes a lot of seamen to make up a Navy)

Channel surfing on Saturday I happened upon a high school football all-star game on NBC, which was sponsored by the Army.

It raised so many questions.

First, parents and friends of players and college coaches excluded, who the hell is so starved for entertainment that they would watch a high school all-star football game with interest from start to finish? It seems so Jacksonian, if you know what I mean.

Second, one of the jocks -- I'll call him Randy Moss, Jr. -- had a breakaway touchdown. But the dumb-ass decided to showboat by doing a somersault into the end zone. The stunt backfired, and the ball hit the ground on the one yard line. He also was penalized for excessive celebration.

Flipping back and forth, I saw that during the game, they would interview players about where they were going to college. It was turned into a sort of game, with three hats placed in a box and the jock taking one out and putting it on to show his choice.

Most of them mentioned the superior quality of the education they would be getting and the opportunities the academic training will provide. NOT.

Most lived up to the stereotype, put on the cap, and said something like, "I'm going to Land Grant U, baby." None were brave enough to mention the hookers and beer bongs it took to convince them.

Now I like watching football, but this sort of showed the hypocrisy of all the hype about Randy Moss-hole last weekend. The high school game gave evidence that, at least to some degree, boorish behavior is tolerated at the high school level.

And kids: it is not cool to talk like Dick Vitale. Plus, he covers basketball.

Anyway, the game was basically an only slightly subtle commercial for the Army, with some of the player's interviewed mentioning their family members who are overseas in Iraq fighting in a war a president they were sent to under false pretenses.

(You can look it up. They finally sort of admitted it when they gave up the search for those weapons of mass destruction. If they can't find them and really thought they existed in the first place, this would mean the weapons are in other hands right now, which should mean a new sense of urgency, but that doesn't appear to be the case.)

Anyway, in light of Moss, Jr.'s stunt, the Army's slogan seemed perfect: An Army of One. What the hell does that even mean? That an Army is a place where you go to be an individual, a real maverick out on his own?

A one-person Army wouldn't have been effective against Hitler's troupes. In fact, I'm pretty sure it only works in movies and video games -- which is the point: attracting video game players and all-that jocks.

To rephrase the cliche, there's no I in team, but there's meat, tea, at, met and mat, but most importantly, a me.