A Viking stoned blathers Randy Moss (or words to that effect)

If there weren’t a Randy Moss, would it be necessary for football fans to invent one?

Games are entertainment, and entertainment always has bad guys.

So Moss pretended to moon the Green Bay Packer fans (a genteel lot if there ever was, a regular Opera Guild), and allegedly rubbed his butt on the goal post mount (probably stirring feelings in some better left unsaid at Lambeau).

How many Packer fans do you think have wiped their big asses on trees when they are out with their hunting buddies? And I hear the Cheese-bos really do bare their butts to visiting team busses.

You see cartoon bears use trees to wipe in toilet paper commercials. Worse is the one with the cartoon old ladies at a party with “real” people who claim that they quilt toilet paper sheets. Ever take a quilted sheet? Sorry, couldn’t resist the pun.

Ever watch pro wrestling? Any given telecast is way weirder and nastier than what Moss did.

Sure Moss is a pampered, immature, selfish, often inarticulate dipstick playing a control freak sport. It’s also his shtick, his way to piss off people on purpose. At this point maybe he thinks its expected, and that’s for him and his shrink to sort out.

I do like the Outkast Afro -- that’s a nice touch, bound to frighten or anger older white guys. Yeah, like a lot of sports radio shows didn’t have to bleep the word, “nigger” today.

I never understood all that celebrating on the field anyway. But hey, no big game is complete without a fireworks and laser show; a half-time show with country music for the older white people and some lip-synched mall punk who thinks she’s edgy cuz her drummer has the anarchy symbol on his drums; and lots of loudness.

It’s a bloody, violent sport. Duh.

One thing you can say about athletes like Moss. You know from the get-go they are jerks.

Michael Jordan had a gambling problem, could be a ruthless son of a bitch, cheated on his wife.

Peyton Manning seems like he can be a pain in the ass -- I mean, from what I’ve read all he thinks about, 24-7, is football. How boring.

Kobe Bryant. Nuff said.

As for the role model thing, boorish athletes serve a purpose there, too. You use them as example of inappropriate behavior and explain to them why it is so.

If that doesn’t work, tell them jerks don’t get as many endorsement deals, do they? (Seriously. I’m asking)

If the kids are bright enough to extrapolate to other media creatures behaving badly and getting big bucks to do it, good luck to you.

Finally, it’s just a damn game. Aren’t there more important things to worry about?