A Confederacy of Dunces meets Green Day

There’s a famous book about New Orleans, a comic novel called a Confederacy of Dunces. The author, John Toole, never saw a penny of royalties: he committed suicide before his award-winning story found success.

A fittingly fucked up anecdote for the most fucked up situation in my lifetime in my homeland.

That things got so fucked up shocks and angers me, but once I start thinking about it, doesn’t surprise cynical me.

Sure, Bush (the worst president of at least the last 50 years) and his cronies deserve a large part of the blame as do state and local officials.

But apparently Born Agains don’t ever feel guilty about anything the way us lapsed Catholics do. Nobody ever has to admit a mistake or take responsibility for errors -- as in, name one blunderer fired for ineptitude that led to 9-11.

The girth of the right wing bitches about the poor and the liberals and their namby pamby hedonism and feel good about yourself claptrap, and “those people” never wanting to help themselves, but they are just as bad. Right, Mr. Limbaugh, you old drug addict you?

Hell, when it comes to blame, we’re all a potato chip away from a heart attack. Or in my case, a bad sunburn away from skin cancer as I just finished peeling from a mistake by Lake Tahoe - as in I didn’t put lotion on, thinking an umbrella’s shade was all the protection I needed.

I am pleasantly amazed by how few catastrophes there are, given the pervasiveness of our absolutionist attitudes.

Look at how people drive, with cell phones, sandwiches, and speedometers north of 70 mph, darting in and out of truck traffic to hurry up to unimportant places.

And before you blame the people left behind in NOLA and the rest of the coast, when bad weather came your way last time, did you head to the basement to avoid the tornado? Did you rush out and buy supplies? Do you even know what your supposed to have on hand for a Red Cross survival kit?

Where exactly is it that some sort of bad weather won’t hit? But who doesn’t hate putting up with drills at the office? Who wants to serve on the dorky safety committee?

When was the last time you changed your oil or did preventative maintenance on your car? Do you exercise and eat right? Always practice safe sex?

Been to a hospital lately? My dad went into one this week for a blood clot. It took from 11 a.m. until 7 p.m. to get him from the emergency room to an ICU one. There, even though has has been in the same place, I had to fill out paperwork with him, a list of conditions and such, that should be in their computer system. But apparently they are in the process of finally putting such a system together. In 2005.

Of course, my dad smoked for more than 30 years, which probably contributed to his prostate cancer and heart condition, which probably contributed to his latest trip to the hospital, which in a half hour drive from where he and my mom decided to move 12 years or so ago.

There is a closer hospital, but he has been there before, and trust me, it’s not a very good one. And there’s apparently just one trauma center for the whole south suburban Chicago area, which has about 2 million or more people.

Yeah, I feel safe and secure should something catastrophic happen.

I took the train downtown to Chicago over the holiday weekend. With gas $3 a gallon and lots going on in the city, it was packed.

They only told people they couldn’t have bikes or booze on the train AFTER the trains pulled out of the stations. And on the way home, they didn’t open two cars, despite the train being full. And on weekends, if you miss the one train in early evening you have to wait 2 hours for the next one.

Yeah, public transportation is a sure bet in a time of crisis.

Look at how most of us work, doing 15 things at once, none of usually getting the attention it may deserve. How many people in your office wait until the last minute to do what they should be doing?

How many corners get cut in a typical day? How often in short term money more important than long term results?

Our government showed it is no different than how we are on a daily basis. It ignored it’s own warnings and planning, hired cronies instead of the qualified, and sat on its ass while a levee broke. It’s good about scaring us about mosquitos and radical Muslims, but not ready for something even it listed among the most possibly bad things to go wrong (and San Francisco, you’re next on the list).

The celebrities are on TV tonight singing their hearts out trying to get us to give money to the charities that will help bail the people out of this mess along the Gulf Coast.

And don’t get me wrong, it does say something good that so many people are willing to help. But what a wonderfully weird world it is when Oprah Winfrey and her Angel Network are more helpful than FEMA.

On my TV in the background, Green Day was chiming Wake Me Up When September Ends.

Fuck that. We all need to just plain wake up.