More Monkey Business

Dancing on a bartop with waitresses makes you realize how we, as a culture, objectify women, how it's all about the booty and the booze.

Eh. Save that for the Lifetime Network.

If the place is the Bad Monkey in Algonquin, what you learn from the vantage point on the bar is that the suburbs are becoming a bit more tolerant about who sleeps with whom, a bit more live and let live about lifestyles - at least if karaoke and letting loose are involved.

With the help of the talented Linda Perillo, who is way better at moving to the grooving than this old school white boy, you learn the bar tender makes sure the path is relatively clear of drinks and spills and that the the surface isn't as tricky to navigate as you might think.

If you're pouring shots into open mouths of willing, baby-bird like imbibers, you find out somebody better hold still or they could chip a tooth or get liquor on their shirt. And while most people appear non-plussed by a middle-aged guy shaking his money maker, some are genuinely baffled, and men, well men, at least in the suburbs, aren't gonna take a shot from a dude, even if this is the most sexually mixed bar in the northwest suburbs.

Hell, a swingers group even hangs out there one night a week. Yup, Benny Goodman fans, and Sinatra wannabes singing karaoke.

Club founder "Mike" (no, not this one) said he and his pals used to meet at a steak joint in Elgin, The Prairie Rock. But moving to the Bad Monkey has tripled the membership. But, though a couple members are prone to singing off color karaoke versions of I Got You Babe and Summer Lovin' the swingers are just blend in with the crowd on other nights.

"The area needed a comfortable place for people to go, and this is a diverse place for people to have a good time," said one of two women named Wendy who own the place.

Both Wendys are bikers, have been friends for 20 years, and have operated other bars in the far northwest suburbs. The name just came to them while brainstorming, they said, and they opened their doors last May.

They say it's been busy from the get-go, drawing from the nearby subdivisions, but with word of mouth, folks from as far away as Chicago and Montgomery stopping by for a drink, some eats or to belt out a tune.

One of the latteris Curt Send of Carpentersville whose been known rock the karaoke with Radiohead or Cheap Trick.

"This is just down the street for me, and there are a lot of cool people here," said Send.

The oddest song Send said he's heard at the Bad Monkey: Rock Lobster, as performed by "Dan the Man." Dan's the local equivalent of Jack from Will and Grace. His take on It's Raining Men - performed while dressed like an elf and with special lyrics, "It's raining lesbians, in Algonquin, hallelujah!" - was a holiday time highlight.

The karaoke is handled by Big DJ Mikey who says that in the seven years he's been serving up tunes, the Monkey is the the friendliest place.

"There's no comparison. No matter who you are they like you and make you feel welcome," said Mike.

Hey, they had me sold, when a cougar, excited by the women dancing on the bar to Eminem's "Shake the Ass" strated grinding against me, rubbed my shaved head, turned me around and planted a big, wet kiss on me.

Fifteen-year Algonquin resident Peggy Smith, who lives just down the block, agrees.

"It's doesn't matter if you're straight or gay here. Nobody cares...Times are changing, and it's so cool how they are changing and they can all mix," said Smith.

Those blurred divisions aren't just about if you like girls or boys. You get bikers, yuppie couples, country fans, people who sing like cookie monster, and at least one time a nicely dressed Japanese woman, partial to light rock, who favors crooning light rock while her husband stands faithfully five feet away for moral support.

And name one other place where, on the same night, you can hear somebody cover a 10-minute Metallica number. Or, as bar manager Amy Meyer noted, a 75-year-old woman who is partial to "Under the Boardwalk."

The bar's typical karaoke contest is even egalitarian: everybody who sings on certain nights has their name put in a drawing, and the winner gets $50. It will be part of an actual talent contest, too.

And, like any good bar, the Bad Monkey has hosted and will be hosting fundraisers. One is coming up for a local girl battling cancer.

I"m happy the way things have turned out here. I think this is they way it should be in a bar. And I hope it helps get people off their stereotypes," said one of the Wendys.

"This place is like your favorite pair of jeans," said the other.

Me, I got a special dance out of the deal, further making, not a monkey, but a happy ass out of myself. And there are supposed to be picture on the way.