Happy Halloween: A scary place (and a scary face)

I present to you the scariest place at my office - and that's saying something that should shiver your spine if not your timbers.

None of the urinals in the entire building work. One has a sign across it from 1999, the year it broke. And there is this eerie hum in the bathroom, a smell like sauerkraut going band and almost always water on the floor.

The fluorescent lights are dingy at best, the carpeting at least 25 years old, and the HVAC system works when it feels like it. The back room is a huge, empty shell where they used to sort papers and before that actually print.

That's where the scare is located. I discovered it by happenstance over summer when hauling crap from my desk to my car via an ancient freight elevator that itself would give the Marquis de Sade a boner. The cart I used had a flat tire and when I attempted to roll it out of the elevator, it bumped the spilled, with some items careening down a gap.

What the hell, I thought. Then I looked around and found that the iron, manhole-like cover I'd been walking past for more than 10 years was not for a storm sewer (which is what this dumb ass thought) but led to the underbelly of the elevator,

It's bare light bulbs, ladder and dampness seemed like it would hold the GImp from Pulp Fiction or some sort of man-monster from a Silence of the Lambs sequel.

So, if you're ever mad at someone - really, really, really pissed - let me know. Have I got a suggestion for you...send him/her my way! hahahahahahahahahahahah