Bears, Colts, and....Prince

It's taken until Thursday for it to sink in that the Chicago Bears are going back to the Super Bowl.

It's been 21 years, which is considerably less time than it took the White Sox to get back to and win the World Series.

The thought of Bears fans - lots of pasty, fat white guys - hitting South Beach off Miami is rife with comic possibilities, as is picturing people from Indianapolis in the same spot. Who knew blue and orange Speedos came in XXXL?

And that middle class guys and gals are pretty much willing to do anything this side of shoving a cucumber up their asses while selling an internal organ is funny and scary at the same time.

Sure, it would be nice to go to the game, as evidence points to this being a rare occurrence. Yet, $4,000 for a ticket is insane. Buy yourself an HDTV for that money. Hang out at a bar and buy your pals drinks. Give Bono the money to save 4,000 starving Africans for a year.

Funnier still is that the halftime entertainment for the big game will be a guy who was at the top of the charts the last time the Bears were in it: Prince.

The NFL went all Puritan after Janet Jackson's nipple flash. Last year they censored lyrics from Rolling Stones songs. Now they hire a guy who used to perform in a leather jock strap and a trench coat. Didn't they see Purple Rain?

Of course, Prince claims to have cleaned up his act, which makes him a bit boring. Still, the little guy can play a mean guitar.

I guess we won't be hearing any of the following tunes come February 4th. And in case you aren't a fan, I am not making any of these up:

Do Me Baby; Sexuality; Jack U Off; Dirty Mind; Do It All Night; Head; Soft and Wet; Billy Jack Bitch; The Lubricated Lady; Hide the Bone; Erotic City; Cream; Come; Sexy MF; Horny Toad; Irresistible Bitch; Scarlet Pussy; Sister (which is about incest); and Darling Nikki (which simulates masturbation and lesbian sex).

I'm not complaining. When he's not being overly weird I enjoy Prince's music.

Come Monday after the bowl, though, I don't want the NFL copping some holier than thou attitude if Apollonia and Vanity show up Sunday in teddies.

After all, football is one of the most violent sports, so why not throw some sex in for halftime. That's as American as apple pie. Or would that be cherry pie?