Booty (bus) shaking and tailgating

Ahh, the smoky smells of football season (from the RV parking lot, at least): diesel fuel, propane, charcoal, cigarettes, cigars, pot, charcoal, spilt beer barbecue sauce, beef, chicken, and, apparently, tuna.

On a beautiful early fall afternoon along Chicago’s postcard lakefront that’s what your nose could savor from walking between bean bag games, buses and campers, some of which had been there from 6 a.m. for a 7 p.m. game.

The best T-shirt belonged to a big bearish lug named Sean (Fight Me I’m Irish), which was a more appropriate thing to wear on a warm day than the bear skins on some older dudes which made them look like gay Flintstones.

Such get-ups are made-for-TV garb, the donners hoping to catch the eye of local broadcast personalities such as Amy Jacobson, who is a lot taller in person that most News at 10 types, and who likes her bottled water warm (I offered cold, but she insisted).

Giving new meaning to the term tailgating, there were at least a couple strippers working the grounds, there with the red and black painted Booty Bus.

Two of ‘em showed up by the grills and Coleman coolers from which I was dining and drinking, one in a very 1970s Frederick's of Hollywood style outfit revealing her belly, the other in a short plaid school girl skirt with thong underwear and Rocky Horror type platform heeled boots.

Nothing says game-time like two exotic dancers simulating lesbian sex while drunks whip out their small digicams and even smaller flip phones.

Bare down Chicago bears indeed.

Apparently the entrepreneurs were drumming up business for their bus. Allegedly a show on board would cost you $60, which guaranteed a happy ending - and you know how sports fans love happy endings.

As for the Bears, fans hope the game wasn’t a premature climax to a season only four games old.

The Booty Bus just hopes it stays warm at least until November.

All I have to say is it’s only a matter of time before Eye Team reporter Chuck Ghoude does an undercover report.