He doesn't like Mexicans, or their sausage

So in the local paper today there was this story about chorizo, the tasty Mexican sausage, written by someone I know quite well. In fact, I live with him. He's a bit of a slob, but otherwise an OK guy.

Anyway, later in the day, a buddy of mine got an e-mail from someone who took offense. Unless you are a hardcore PETA type vegetarian how an article about spicy sausage can turn you into a Rush Limbaugh wannabe is beyond me.

To paraphrase Rodney King, "Why can't we just get along and eat each other's foods?"

Anyway, unless the dude who dissected the piece is heavy into satire, he seems not to like Mexicans. I am assuming he's white. Here's how he tore apart an otherwise innocuous story. With his comments labeled, WHITE GUY, and my responses labeled BIG ME.

Here goes:


STORY: Cinco de Mayo marks the date in 1862 when the Mexican army defeated Napoleon's forces in a battle about 100 miles east of Mexico City, potentially saving a good deal of the continent from coming under French rule.

WHITE GUY: I prefer to remember the Alamo!

BIG ME: I'm too lazy to look it up, but there is evidence to suggest that the May 5th fight kept the French at bay, out of the US and that Americans aided the Mexican Army. Of course, for WHITE GUY, what a dillema that would be - choosing between the French and the Mexicans.


STORY: These days, here in the United States at least, it's become more like the Mexican-American equivalent of St. Patrick's Day.

WHITE GUY: Except everyone of the St. Patrick's Day people are legal and hold their head high!

BIG ME: WTF! Has WHITE GUY never been to an Irish bar with actual Irish? ANd on St. Pat's Day lots o' folks wind up with their heads in a toilet.

STORY: All of which is a long way of saying May 5 has become an excuse to throw a party. And what would a party be without food?

WHITE GUY: Like a day without Mexicans?

BIG ME: Actually, this is a good one. As the movie showed, without Mexicans not a lot of manual work got done in California, so good metaphor.

STORY: If you're looking for a way to add a touch of tradition to your festivities, if you haven't already done so, this would be a good time to try chorizo, the spicy Mexican sausage.

With help from Carpentersville Deputy Police Chief Mike Gillette and police social worker Griselda Hernandez, the folks over at La Rosita, 651 Illinois 68, Carpentersville, were kind enough to show us how they make their own chorizo, a process which takes 60 to 90 minutes, explained the store's head butcher Ramos Villanueva.

WHITE GUY: "Police social worker?" Hernandez, says a lot doesn't it?

BIG ME: I guess so. I mean it pretty much does describe her job.

STORY: The sausage, which sells for $2.59 per pound, is so popular that Villanueva and his crew (Miguel Gonzalez on this particular day) make between 250 and 300 pounds once a week, usually on Wednesdays or Saturdays. Chorizo is made with a leg cut of pork, sliced off the bone, then ground and blended with a half pound of cloves.

WHITE GUY: Do they wash their hands?

BIG ME: I was there, dude. They wore gloves.

STORY: The hand-blended recipe calls for garlic, cumin, and a chipotle-like chili. The mixture also takes a bath in a chorizo premix, which adds to the sausage's red coloring. It's all put back through the grinder to be stuffed into 10-foot long casings which are made into pieces of more modest size.

While chorizo is sold in links, typically it's removed from its casing for cooking. A few popular ways it is served include the meat being mixed with eggs or with beans and eaten in a tortilla. It's also often mixed with potatoes as filling for a gordita, which is a thicker tortilla.

At family get-togethers it can be served on the grill, cooked inside aluminum foil, explained social worker Hernandez.

WHITE GUY: Social worker cum chef?

BIG ME: Right. Only the people on The Food Channel can offer cooking tips. Actually a social worker who is a chef sounds high concept. I think I will pitch it to TV - someone who helps people sort out their lives with good food.

STORY: If you want to try a spicier pork sausage, La Rosita also offers longaniza.

Villanueava said that it is quite popular, too, and the shop frequently sells out of what it makes. That's in large part because the process for making longaniza involves letting the sausage dry out for two days before it is ready to sell.

WHITE GUY: Dry out? In the open or in a cooler, in the sun, or in the back seat of the pickup? Remember the Hispanics killed last year because of bad food?

BIG ME: Actually, they put it in the back seat of a Camaro, heated by VIrgin Mary votive candles. Remember all the white people who got sick on those cruise ships?